Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
