butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
