your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
