Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize