Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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