Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
