I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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