Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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