Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
