i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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