I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
