If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
