I want to make a zoo with you.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
