sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
