Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
