i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
