it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
