Your tits are I can't wait for
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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