Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I need moral support for this bender
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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