If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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