All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
