if you like me you must not know who I am
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
