I'll bet she douches with gravy.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we're making bets on your personal life
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
