elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
