we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
