Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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