he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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