So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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