I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
