At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
