I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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