worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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