those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
