I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
