lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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