God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
