"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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