Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
