I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
