We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
