well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just made my gag reflex go away.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
