mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
babies were throwing up all over the place
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
