Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
