How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
