if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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