Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
