Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
