You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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