Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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