I'm gonna have a badass scar
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
